Thursday, February 19, 2009

On Indefinite Hiatus

Hi Sports Fans,

It's with a somewhat heavy heart that I'm letting you know, as you are probably well aware at this point, that this blog has gone into indefinite hiatus. I just don't have the time to play and write anymore. I'm running a charity this year and honestly it takes up much more time than I thought, plus I've been running lately and I'm playing drums in a new band, and my nights are pretty much done before I know it.

If you're reading this, it means you were a fan at some point and I really appreciate it. I enjoyed all the comments and my goal was to provide a little flashback to one of my favorite games of all time and to also help you laugh every once in a while, and I hope I accomplished that.

I do intend on one day returning to this blog. I mean, I'm the best in the world, it would be a great shame to just not talk about it. But for now, and for an unforseeable time period, I have no idea when that's going to be.

You can follow my exploits of 2009 over at www.YearoftheBeard.com, the website where I'm documenting my attempt to grow my bear all year for charity.

Pour one out for my homies.

-Andy

Friday, January 9, 2009

2 Games in the New Year

Hello everyone. Happy New Year! I'm sorry about the lack of updates lately. First Fallout 3 was just taking up way too much of my time and then there was a death in my family so I have be preoccupied with that. I actually played the following games a few days ago but I haven't had time to write about them here, so I may not be able to provide the colorful little commentary that I usually do.

Here goes.

Game 18: Dallas Stars vs Chicago Blackhawks
Any regular reader of this blog will know that I have some serious history with the "Stars." They once scored 7 goals on me and I was pretty upset about it. I went into this game both fired up to show them that it was a fluke, but also a little nervous because I know they can give me trouble sometimes.
Goulet was skating COLD and our defensive player of the year Chelios was looking HOT
I'll have to say this was one of the first games I can remember ever doing this, but Roenick was not the main scorer tonight. No, our main man was Mr. HOT himself, Chelios put in 4 goals.
4 goals, and that's the main scorer? Yes, it's true, I spread the love around a bit.
Roenick wasn't shabby by any means, scoring a hat trick.
Goulet also surprisingly had a had trick.
And finally, number 14, some dude named Gilbert, was able to put in 2 goals.
Final score: Stars 1, Blackhawks 12.

Game 19: Chicago Blackhawks at Florida Panthers
Somehow Chelios was COLD this game, even though he was player of the game the previous outing, and Belfour was looking HOT.
But who was really hot? Roenick. He must have been furious about being outscored against the Stars, because he put in 14 goals against the Panthers.
No one else came close.
Chelios, despite being cold, was the number 2 scorer putting in 2.
Smith, a guy named Noonan, Goulet, Ruttuu, and Larmer each added one more.
Final score: Blackhawks: 21, Panthers: 1

I have this work holiday party tonight, where you're supposed to dress nice. For me dressing nice means putting on my black dickies, black on black Vans sneakers, a shirt and tie, and a sweater vest. I'm not really one for suits and sport coats. And fancy shoes make my feet hurt. So I try to sneak by wearing pretty casual stuff. If I could wear my hat I would, but that might be a little much. I also haven't shaved because of Year of the Beard so I look pretty sloppy.

Last year at this party, well, I had this crush on this girl that I worked with, Anne. She was sort of new. Well anyways, throughout the whole party I was talking to her but nothing really was going on, but she was having herself a good time at the bar. So I get driven home by my buddy Patrick, but when I get home, someone I work with called Dan, who I was hanging out with, and said "Where's Andy? Anne keeps asking for Andy. You should come to this after party and bring Andy!" I'm freaking out so I get everybody to come to this after party with me, including my roommate Jon.

At the after party I was talking to Anne and we sort of would hold hands every once in a while, but then this guy would come over and she would stop holding my hand. A few months later her and that guy moved to Chicago, so this story really doesn't go anywhere, but something else funny happened.

At one point I really had to go to the bathroom, so I head in there and mount up at a urinal. My roommate comes in (who had drank 2 bottles of wine before I even invited him to this after party) and he goes into the stall. He starts yelling, over the door to me, "I'm going to kill you. I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm a swift mother fucker. I'm going to fucking kill you." (It's okay he was joking).

In walks my boss's boss, the president of operations. He plants himself at the urinal next to me. Here's the conversation:

Me: "Dave." (head nod)
Dave: "Andy." (head nod)
Jon (from the urinal): "I'm a swift mother fucker. I'm going to kill you!"

Dave looked at me and I looked at him, wide eyed. Dave says

"Do you know that guy?"

To which I respond

"No I think he's drunk."

As if on cue, Jon comes out of the urinal, slaps me on the shoulder, says "See you out there buddy" and goes back into the bar. I looked at my boss's boss and shook my head like I was utterly confused. Then I finished up, washed my hands and ran out into the party. I found Jon really quick and said "Dude, for the rest of the night put all your drinks on my tab, but don't talk to me. Pretend we don't know each other."

I thought that would cover the whole situation up, but Jon got all upset that I told him not to talk to me, and Anne was too busy close-talking with her boyfriend, so we left the bar pretty soon after that. I was also told, the next day, that on the way home I said some of the worst things I've ever said in my life to Dan, because I blamed him for the failed Anne situation.

I think he got over it.

Monday, December 22, 2008

You Can't Win Them All (By 15+ Goals)

I decided to pick up where I had left the season off. That would make this game 17 and 18 of the regular season. I imagine that long of a break between games can really do a number on the team so, even with Saturday's random exhibition, I didn't know how well I was going to perform.

Game 17: Pittsburgh Penguins vs Chicago Blackhawks
Being from Cleveland, we are taught from an early age to hate Pittsburgh, for multiple reasons. 1) The Steelers are the Browns' rivals. 2) They are a very similar city to us... midwestern steel town. 3) They didn't have a well publicized incident in the 70s of catching their river on fire, like we did. And they have three rivers. So I came into this game "fired" up.
Steve Smith (the zero factor) was COLD, so who cares, and Chelios was HOT. That's usually good news because it means he can knock out pretty much anybody.
The first period of the match up was wild. Roenick was in the box for 4 minutes for roughing, so that didn't help anything. People were getting penalties left and right.
Lucky for me Ruutu showed up to play, scoring a Hat-Trick in the first period.
Of course Roenick was the top scorer, putting in seven.
Goulet, who I'm starting to absolutely hate, put in two.
Smith and Chelios each put in one from the back line. Kind of weak for Chris, but I was surprised Steve was even able to control the puck.
The big story was that two guys named Marchment and Kucera each put in a goal, whoever the hell they are. I don't know what kind of penalty combination led to either of them being in or how they got anywhere near the net, but it was confusing as hell seeing their names up there.
Final score: Pens 0, Blackhawks 16. Another shutout for my dog Eddie!

Game 18: Chicago Blackhawks at Toronto Maple Leafs
Larmer was looking HOT this game which was promising. I like Larmer a lot and I always want him to have really good games, although sometimes his shot is just piss poor. Smith was looking COLD, again. I thought he'd be on the high of his life after scoring last game but I think he's depressed or something.
I was worried about this game as well because I tend to be worse going down, rather than up, and if you're the visiting team, you go down for two periods (1 and 3) and up only for 1. Since I haven't played in a while, this could have turned out bad.
Well it wasn't great.
Roenick was only able to put in 6. Their goalie had some serious stops. His mother was proud.
Goulet got some great looks and was able to get a Hat-Trick thanks to some amazing passes.
Chelios slapped one in from outside. I think it registered at 803 mph.
Larmer (who was responsible for most of Goulet's open shots) only put one in himself. He's more of a support player than a scorer, and that's okay.
Final score: Blackhawks 11, Maple Leafs 1 (Belfour made a real bonehead move at one point).

I wanted to get these games in early because I had plans to go to the gym tonight to run but my running buddy just cancelled on me. I am trying to run again because I used to run cross country in high school and I was in pretty decent shape. Well high school ended about 8 years ago and I'm about 15 pounds heavier. 15 pounds of muscle I would have been happy with, but this is 15 pounds of belly. So I've been going to the gym to run it off. I usually run about three miles every time I go.

I was never good at cross country. I was more of a sprinter. In track I ran the 100, 200, and 4x100. I actually handed the baton off to Anthony Gonzalez. He was two years younger than me but he was one of the nicest people I went to school with. I ran the third leg, and he was our anchor. A few times, I'd be coming around the curve, and he'd just take off running and there was NO way I was going to even come close to him. He was one fast kid. This wild man was also on our track team and while we were in highschool he was the fastest kid in the country at the 800m. The 800m is probably the toughest race you'll ever run.

So anyways, at cross country, I was terrible. One time I came in last place. Very last. There was one person behind me, but it was a dude riding a four-wheeler, making sure no one died while running the race. He was about 10 feet behind me for about a mile and a half. And when I was finishing, there was this big crowd of people (including my parents) and they were clapping, like I just accomplished something. I wanted to tell them all to shut up. It was really embarrassing.

I did get to run in the State Finals my senior year (where I came in second last thanks to a last ditch sprint at the very end), but that was only because of a fluke. Our team was really good, and we made it to the finals, but a week before the race, all the seniors on the team took all the freshman into the locker room and gave them wedgies until the band on their underwear ripped off. We told them the day before that this was going to happen, and to pre-cut their undies to make it easier. Well, I didn't really participate in this, because when I was a freshman my brother's friend made sure that no one gave me a wedgie. So I picked one freshman and made sure no one gave him a wedgie.

So one kid goes home after practice and tells his mom that his testicles were swollen and they went to the emergency room! First of all, I just don't get it. Bigger balls = a good thing, right? Well this kid didn't think so. So questions were asked and this kid ratted all the seniors out, and they each got called in to the principal's office one by one and they had to name everyone who gave wedgies and no one mentioned me because I wasn't there. They all got suspended and kicked off the team, so my coach, knowing that we now had absolutely no chance at the Finals, put me on the team. It meant an extra week of practice for me so I was kind of bummed out.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Has Come Early

I woke up this morning at 8:45 because I had to go see an ear, nose and throat doctor because my girlfriend punched me in the head and blew a hole right through my ear drum.

The doctor said I am okay and it will heal itself in a month or so.

But I happened to be in the neighborhood of that video game store I talked about a few posts ago, so I thought I'd stop in. And as if a beacon drew me right to it, there it was, sitting, waiting to be purchased... NHL '94 for the Sega Genesis. I took it to the counter and said "Good sir, I would like to purchase this." And I did.

For $1.07!!! These people are fools! They have maybe one of the greatest games of all time and they're selling it for $1.00 plus tax? Idiots! I would have gladly paid upwards of $5.00, but I will take a deal when I see one.

I came home, plugged it into the ol' 40" flatscreen and booted this baby up!

LA Kings vs. Chicago Blackhawks
I was a little worried about being rusty, and I'm used to playing on a six button controller and I wanted to give a three button controller a shot, so I didn't have many high hopes for this game.
But Jeremy must have been happy to see me because he put in 15 goals. Spent 4 minutes in the box and still had time for 15 goals. Welcome home, Mr. Roenick.
Larmer put in 2, just for fun.
And Steve Smith decided to come up to the front line and put one in.
But the player of the game (in my opinion, not the game's. The game said it was Roenick) was your friend and mine, Edward Belfour. How many goals did he let in? 3? 2? 1? Oh, no sir. Zero goals! The Goose Egg. The Shutout.
Kings: 0, Blackhawks: 18.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Prince of Persia

On Monday I picked up Prince of Persia for the Xbox 360.

Today, Thursday, I beat it.

It was pretty fun. Awesome combat system. Amazing graphics. A little bit on the easy side.

There were a few times where something was taking me a few seconds to figure out, and Patrick would just yell "Do this, do that!" or whatever, and then when he watched me beat it, he claimed I wouldn't have done it without him.

Also he wanted to bet me $5 that there was an alternate ending. I would have taken the bet except that he claimed just shutting the game off before the ending counted as an alternate ending. Anyways he looked it up online and I was right. There is no alternate ending.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I need to find a Genesis again

The other day I wanted to boot up the old NHL '94 but I couldn't find my Sega Genesis. After an extensive search I have come to the conclusion that it has gone missing. Total bummer.

What makes this even more frustrating is that I watched King of Kong yesterday, which is all about being the best in the world at certain video games. I thought "Wow, they might make a movie about me one day, because I'm the best in the world at NHL '94." The only problem is that I can see them portraying me as the Billy Mitchell character, because I'm all ready at the top. And there will be some up start underdog who wants to be the best coming up out of nowhere, and everyone will love him. But I don't think that will work for two reasons:

1) I'm too loveable

2) I don't think there is anyone who can beat me in NHL '94

Anyways, the third thing that made this even more frustrating is the new TV I got. 40" HDTV. Now I know NHL '94 won't play in HD or anything, but the TV is big, and I bet the game will look great on it.

Patrick claims he has a Sega Genesis at his mom's house that he can bring to the house, so I hope he does that. Getting my hands on a copy of NHL '94 might be a little tricky, since that has gone missing as well, but there is this old school gaming place by my dad's house that might have what I'm looking for. They'll probably have a controller or two as well.

Let's hope next week gets me back in the game.

Friday, September 19, 2008

He talks the talk, haven't seen him even crawl yet

Patrick's old school systems that he claims he is so good at have yet to arrive at the house. I don't want to make any judgements, because, we're sort of still getting to know each other so I don't want to make this whole living situation really awkward, but if you ask me, he's afraid of my skill.

I downloaded Castle Crashers for Xbox Live. It was a great hack 'n' slash game that I quickly got through, no problems. Of course Patrick sat there and watched me play through it and was making all these snide comments about how he could beat me and this, that, and the other thing. I'll have you know he never once picked up the controller to show me he even knows HOW to play video games.

One day I came home and caught him playing the demo of Alien Hominid.

It was embarrassing. Downright pitiful. I would normally give him the benefit of the doubt and say: 1) He's not hip to these new-fangled games, and 2) Alien Hominid is really hard,
But 1) Alien Hominid is an old school side scroller, and 2) Even for being hard, this was grotesque.

I'm thinking about buying a 42" flatscreen HDTV to really up my gaming experience. I haven't done much research into it but I'm assuming my Genesis will hook up to it no problem. For some reason, I never had a Genesis with the Yellow, Red, White cables. We always used the one that plugged into the back of the TV, where the antenna or co-axle cable would go. I hope that still works on an HDTV. I could probably try it out at my dad's first. He's got a nice TV.

NHL '94 on a 42" flatscreen would be just downright absurd.